Swan Song

I recently took a walk on a beautiful spring day along Lake Lucerne in Switzerland. A lovely Swan caught my eye and I sauntered down to the pier to observe him closely. He was not alone, as many ducks were flitting and flirting along the shore, as well.

A local retiree showed up with a bagful of bread and started tossing it into the crystal blue water for the ducks to eat.  Naturally, the ducks came scurrying over and started their feast, complete with chomping, quacking and competing. One hunk of bread was particularly large, left over day old bread of the dinner party variety. The ducks gave it a go and could not manage the size nor the hardness of it.  The swan took interest in it and found absorbing obsession with it as he tried to bite into it.  His mate came from across the water and scored some remnants from the ducks. Then watched as his life partner attempted to vanquish the toughened remains of last night's human banquet.

I was fascinated by the enduring steadfast tenacity of the swan.  He wanted that bread, he ached for that victory. He kept pulling the bread to him and burrowing his beak into it. Each time it slipped away into the current, he chased it and dove at it again. With Olympic determination he pursued his desire. With passion and intensity, he used all his resources attempting to devour that which he so craved. The course rough skin of the bread firmly defeating him every time. If only he could wait, allow the bread to soften. If only his patience matched his passion.

I found myself thinking - I am like that! Especially when it comes to romance.  I burn with passion inside and when it sets fire to someone on the outside that I truly want, the fire then consumes me until I get him  and then consume him.  I am steadfast and tunnel-visioned and extremely resourceful. In all simplicity, I become obsessed. If only I could wait till the time was right, till the bread was ready, till I could sink my teeth into the skin of him and fully savor every part of him. As opposed to pulling him near and chasing when he wiggles away. If only I could find the patience to match my passion. To wait for him to soften to me, to embrace my bite, to reveal his vulnerable underbelly to me.

Maybe, just maybe, I would somehow find the courage to unlock the caged fire that continually burns within me.

Somehow this swan scene reminded me of the film The Last Station, about Tolstoy at the end of his life and his wife's struggle to preserve his estate.  I left the movie theatre so inspired by Helen Mirren's performance and so full of her romantic passion, that I walked straight to Central Park and penned the poem below.  After which I went right back to the theatre to see the film for the second time that same day!  I highly recommend it.

I Want a Love Like That...

I want a love like THAT
 one that breaks things
 one that giggles,
 screams
 one that melts like glaciers
 one drop per kiss
 over the river of a lifetime.

One that gets me outside myself
 crawls me into his veins
 for fleeting moments
 of certain, brilliant unity;
Loyal,
 like breath
 that never fails till death
 no matter the Poison it consumes
 no matter the Blockage that seeps in
 in vain attempts
 to alter its steady rhythm.

I want a love like THAT
 that leaves me full
 in the empty hours
 that percolates
 brews
 coloring my water
 with more than flavor
 coating the sieve
 of his heart’s skin
 preventing my precious
 many-savored truths
 from leaking out,
 from slipping through.

One that celebrates
 my Spring
 each tiny, bud-like
 opening of my art
 and fertilizes every winter dark
 to pull me through
 the blackest victories of my Shame.

One that takes ALL

 I have to offer
 sans remorse
 void of regret
 the key to my treasure chest,
 with the gilted grace
 to pause
 and playfully give back.

I want a love that sighs

 and sings a hymn for me
 on my very sick bed
 who wakes the morning
 with the sunshine in his eyes
 drawing me
 in complex shades of gray
 upon the canvas of the world,
 this atlas I attract
 as I search for my secret soul,
 to wrap it like the sky
 around the firmness of his waist.

 A love that brings me HOME

 with one subtle, swift embrace.

©2012 DOS

The excerpts of all of the poems presented in this blog are copyright protected, as each and every poem has been copyrighted.   For a complete copy of any poem, feel free to email your request to: duvallosteennyc@gmail.com.